Regarding this matter, out of ten people who ask, nine are women, and the remaining one is a man asking on behalf of his mother.  

To put it plainly, once the divorce certificate is signed, legally, you have no connection with the other party's family. Your former in-laws are no longer your in-laws, and your former spouse's parents are no longer your parents-in-law. You may address them as 'uncle' or 'aunt,' or as 'the child's grandparents,' but you cannot continue to call them 'dad' or 'mom'—even if you do, it would be awkward for them.  

However, life is not only governed by law; it also considers human relationships.  

Some people experience a tumultuous divorce, where former in-laws badmouth you to everyone in the neighborhood. In such cases, it is best to let go early, avoid interactions during holidays, and even a slight nod on the street can demonstrate courtesy.  

Others have a peaceful divorce. If your former in-laws helped care for your child or assisted during postpartum recovery, that kindness should be acknowledged. If they fall ill, you might visit them in the hospital, and a New Year greeting via text is appropriate. Yet remember one principle—do not intrude into their household or interfere in their affairs. You are no longer part of that family; being overly familiar can upset their new daughter-in-law or your ex-spouse, and stir your own unresolved frustrations.  

The most complicated situation arises when children are involved.  

When a child addresses grandparents, that bond reflects blood relations and cannot be severed. As the child's parent, interaction with former in-laws is unavoidable. Whether it’s picking up the child, attending parent-teacher meetings, or discussing the child’s illness, communicate appropriately and courteously. Keep the relationship within the scope of 'child-related matters,' and avoid extending beyond that. Do not listen to, inquire about, or convey messages regarding their household affairs. Maintaining this boundary ensures comfort for everyone.  

In our practice of performing lawful spiritual rites, many ask: Master, can I perform a ritual to make my former in-laws change their minds and persuade my ex-spouse for reconciliation?  

I advise against it. Kinship by marriage follows the marriage itself; when the marital bond is broken, the kinship layer cannot be maintained. Forcing it back only brings chaos. It is better to invest that energy in living well yourself.  

Of course, there is a type of kinship that cannot be completely severed—when there is a shared child. In this case, avoid contention and do not overextend intimacy. Treat it like a distant relative: handle matters when necessary, and otherwise maintain distance. During festivals or holidays, have the child pass greetings, which is sufficient courtesy.  

Finally, to be candid:  

Some people maintain friendships with former in-laws or parents-in-law after divorce, but these cases are rare. Most relationships gradually fade, and even a collective holiday greeting might feel excessive. This is normal; do not consider it a failure of character. It is common for attention to fade once people part ways—when the old tea is gone, where can the fresh tea pour?  

If you still feel internally blocked, come to the temple, light an incense stick, and recount the matter to the founder. Certain relationships must be severed, and once severed completely, you can live your new life with peace and stability.